Friday, December 13, 2013

Last month of the year.....



Haven't really had the head to make a lot of posts, but hopefully in the new year. Let's get this month over and done with!

That's right, no Christmas spirit at all :/ This month used to be filled with traditions, but that has ended, I can't do that any more.

My 2 daughters are all grown up, but I have 2 grandchildren now instead. For their sake we try and do a little bit Christmas stuff. But my girls have taken on the traditions them selves, so it's really up to them now, I think ;-)

The picture above is from last year, no tree this year. Sadly I found out that it was a bit difficult to breath last year, after the tree got in the house. They are sprayed with something while they are small trees, mainly to avoid deers to nibble at them and ruin them before they are big enough to sell. My mother in law have the same problem and have bought a plastic tree. Looks like we have to do so too :( I don't like plastic trees, they look like those you see in the stores, nothing natural about them. So I got an idea that I told my husband the last time he was home. How about a tree with only angel ornaments on AND a beautiful angel at the top!! (We use a star normally) AND to make it a bit wild, I said a white tree....lol He sure surprised me when he said that he had seen a white tree somewhere and it looked good....lol
Not sure it will be a white one though. I've found a page where they have so many different plastic trees and some are looking a bit more natural (and cost more of course). There's plnty of time to figure out what kind we want, since it wont be for this Christmas after all.

It's going to be a bit weird this year. Normally we celebrate on the 24th, but since my grandkids are spending that day with their father, we are celebrating on the 23rd this year. And so will it be every second year from now. It's a tradition and nothing religious about Christmas for us, but it will be a bit strange to sit here on the 24th eating left overs....lol The important thing is that we can spend it together, so never mind about the date, I'm sure it will be a nice day.

Hope everyone will have a very nice Christmas out there in the world, however you celebrate :)

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Getting back on track again

Going on a trip in to town is a total drainer for the little energy I have. It's a 30-40 minutes drive by car, where I have to be alert of the trafic etc., then it's all those people suddenly surrounding me and the massive noise.
On Wednesday I had promised my daughter to support her, while she attended a meeting, and I had a pretty good morning and was constantly thinking positive thoughts for her. The meeting went well, so she asked me how I was feeling and if I thought I could manage to go with her to get a Christmas gift. I was still doing good, so I said yes, and got to buy some gifts myself ;-)
We got back home around 3.30pm, and actually had a nice day. 6 hours from I left home until I got back again. My head was so tired, but I didn't want to take a nap and ruin my new sleeping pattern. Went to bed early though but couldn't fall asleep :(
See, that's one of the major things about having both stress and CFS. The body is in constant alert fase but at the same time the head just wants to sleep. Not a good combination. Sleeping pills is not for me. My blodpressure get so low when I get in the deep sleep, so I often have this sudden awaking where I should remember to breath. Nothing serious and I don't have to where a mask at night. So just have to try and get in a routine instead.
But this day trip just ruined that and I have had a hard time trying to get to sleep before midnight again. I don't get out of the house and don't have the energy to do anything. I get so mad every time, cause I need the control and I'm really having a hard time accepting that the mind, for now, has taken over.
Today has been okay though, I even managed to go for a little walk with my daughter and grandkids and have dinner with them afterwords :)

So I'm back on track again....until next time....lol
I expect this to happend, just hope it wont take days every time, to get on top again.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Been a bit moody day

My dad would have turned 72 years today. Happy Birthday, Dad !!

And on this date, 6 years ago, my father in law, passed away. My father followed him 4 months later.

Then my neighbour has a birthday today too, and she turns 40 today....lol

I don't normally dwell on dates for when loves ones has passed away, but I remember I called my dad on the way home from the hospital, after my father in law had passed, to tell him the sad news and at the same time, wish him a Happy Birthday.

But I believe that we only borrow the body we have each life and that our soul lives on, so to me, they are not really gone :)


Thursday, November 14, 2013

Support and help from the surroundings

Understanding people with psychological problems isn't easy. I know my family and friends have had a hard time with that, but they still support me. I've never had anyone to give me that "kick in the butt" to get things done, but I believe that's because I'm so independent and needs to have control over things. Asking for help, has not been something I've practiced at lot. One of the major things I've had to learn, is being more selfish. I think that has been one of the hardest things I've have to do, being a giving person.

Ups and downs

If you're on a diet you know there will be good days and bad days, ups and downs. So is the case when you are making several changes towards a better life too. One might say, that I've started with too many changes at once, but they somewhat adds together as a whole. Well maybe not the walking part, but I will give it a try anyway. I really need to get out more.


The days that will be bad days, I will try not to get set back to scratch and give up on it all.

Food

Some of the side effects from the meds is extreme dryness in mouth and nose and all my senses are working overtime. That means I'm very sensitive to smell and test. Topping that with nausea, eating isn't always easy. So I tend to skip my meals and just grab something in between. Not the healthiest way, I know. I have the sweetest husband who has taken over making dinner when he is home and he makes sure there are leftovers put in the freezer for me for when he's away for work every 2 weeks. I haven't been good at eating the meals, but now that is also going to change. So far I've had dinner EVERY day since he left about a week ago :)

Energy medicine

Next step is daily exercises using the body’s own energy.
Everything is surrounded by energy, even our own body, so why not use it to straighten up of the things that are not working to well.

I recommend these 3 books combined:
Energy Medicine, Energy Healing and I-Ching.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has a hard time filling my body with artificial made medicine, but I have accepted it for now, even though the side effects isn't good. At least it keeps my anxiety and stress down to a tolerable level.

The holistic approach has been something I fully approve to use for a long time, but it has to feel right. So much bad stuff going on in that area, so trying to figure out in the jungle of natural meds, exercises etc. is not the easiest thing. But if one listens to the inner voice/feeling, then it can't be so bad. Some things are working for some and other things for someone else. We are not alike and our body needs different things.

So for a start I'm going to make a daily energy exercises program and see how it goes. AND I will also try to make a least one daily walk.


It's going to be hard work but at least it will give me something to look forward to when I get up i the morning. Since my physical energy level is so low right now, just trying to vacuuming is totally draining.